“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”
— Søren Kierkegaard
Five words.
A broken Christmas.
The moment everything finally crumbled — and the start of a new beginning.
This is where my story begins. An alcohol recovery dad UK, standing in the ruins of his life – knowing time was up. Last orders. If something didn’t change he’d lose everything. Not one thing to solve, but many. The first was obvious.
Five words.
Five words that haunt me.
Five words that finally got through.
They came from the kindest, most energetic, innocent ten-year-old I’ve ever known.
My little girl. The apple of my eye.
“I just wanted a Christmas.”
She didn’t say those words to me.
She said them to someone else — after I’d ruined it.
I was told she looked sad when she said it.
Quiet. Withdrawn.
I haven’t seen her since.
Real Life Alcohol Recovery UK : One Dad’s Story
Ever hit your own rock bottom?
When everything just collapses?
This was mine.
That moment cracked something wide open.
It all crumbled.
From the outside, I looked like a man holding it together — decent job, tidy flat, people saying I looked good for my age.
But a smile hides a lot.
Behind it? Chaos.
I’d been drinking for years — not daily, but destructively.
My mental health spiralled fast.
Self-esteem destroyed. Finances in ruins. Alone.
And yeah — a lot of that was on me. I was ashamed. I’d gone way past ‘normal’. A tale that’s all to common, sometimes hidden in plain sight. Certainly where I live. Fine line between encouraged to drink, labelled and stigmatised when you cross the line which I clearly had. Despite all the evidence.
Still, I kept lying to myself:
“I’m in control.”
“It’s been a while.”
“It’s not that bad.”
But consequences don’t care.
They come — quietly at first, then all at once.
That Christmas?
That was the collapse I couldn’t avoid.
My rock bottom.
The one people talk about — when you’re staring into the abyss.
Truth is, I should never have dodged so many bullets.
That moment had been years in the making.
The Universe — and Her — Showed Me the Truth
I thought I was stable. Healed. Fixed.
But one woman — and the universe — showed me the cracks I’d been ignoring.
I’d already lost someone. When finally the past made it all worthwhile.
Someone who nearly changed everything.
My almost-ever-after.
We met again years after first crossing paths — randomly, but it felt like something that was always meant to happen. Its allotted time.
She believed in manifestation. Said she’d asked the universe for someone like me. Then I appeared.
We clicked instantly, moved fast, discussed the future.
She was the woman I wanted to grow old with. Absolutely.
I fell hard. So did she.
She saw the good in me — the humour, warmth, kindness.
But I wasn’t quite the man she needed. Not then.
I was devastated when it ended.
Just like that — gone.
Losing her forced me to face everything. I had to change, fundamentally. I wasn’t just an alcohol recovery dad UK, I had to become the alcohol recovery man, that real partner also.
I’d already started drinking less. But I knew it wasn’t enough.
If I was ever going to become the version of myself they’d all want to stay for — it had to be everything.
And yeah, alcohol had caused problems between us. I only admitted that later. But it did. Absolutely. Easy to see when I look back. Our best dates? Sober. Her biggest cuddle? Week before it ended, discussing love – sober. Flags – alcohol fuelled. So alcohol more than played it’s part
The emotional weight I carried.
The damage I hadn’t repaired.
The parts of myself I was scared to confront.
And then came Christmas.
And my daughter’s five words. That finally sparked the realisation and transformation. Finally.
Changing for All of Them — Before It’s Too Late
Becoming an alcohol recovery dad UK mean’t facing everything I’d run from – alone, sober and scared. And face up to the complete situation and other’s I had hurt – and refused to admit.
I have two older daughters.
One I still see now and then.
One who’s pulled away.
I’m proud of both of them. I brought them up alone at times. Beautiful independent young woman. So I’d hurt more than one, all my children. I’ll touch on all three more later. Trust isn’t rebuilt fast – I know that. They mean everything to me – which is hard to believe. Forgiveness earned, pain acknowledged. Knowing in their earliest years I was what they nearly needed them came unstuck.
Truth is, I’d collapsed at Christmas before.
But not seeing them at all that year killed me too. They always chose others at Christmas.
It was buried under everything else — and drowned in excessive alcohol, trying to forget.
They deserve more.
They always did.
What I realised that day was that the change couldn’t just be about one moment, one relationship, or even just alcohol.
The damage went deeper — financially, emotionally, physically.
And the rebuild had to be total.
This is the story of how I got here.
I’m not proud of it.
But maybe someone reading this will see themselves in it.
Maybe you’ll stop before your rock bottom.
Or maybe you’re already in it — and just need to know it can change.
This is my record of that change. This blog is part of my journey as an alcohol recovery dad UK -rebuilding everything – of turning it all around. If I can do it, anyone can.
No more addictions.
More honesty.
More resilience.
More accountability.
Alcohol Recovery Dad UK— A Full Rebuild
When they see me again — all of them —
They’ll see the man they needed. The man they always wanted.
They’ll feel content.
Happy.
Safe.
Sure there will be another alcohol recovery dad UK who has the same fight on their hands. Dragging themselves up, fighting daily to change. Knowing a better version was always there, maybe just starting out. Drowning, now beginning to rise.
My past can’t be rewritten —
But the new story can.
There’s no other choice.
Not after those five words.
Not from her.
She just wanted a Christmas.
With her dad.
